Anyone who has a good marriage will tell you that marriage requires an abundance of things, however their quick list will often exclude the one thing that will always be in place and in order… forgiving.
You will never have a successful marriage if you do not understand that forgiving is a part of the foundational cloth of the institution and that to be forgiven requires that you forgive.
Wow! So Scroggins, are you telling me that someone in the marriage will always cause an offense?
That’s exactly what I’m saying. We are human and we are not perfect.
No two individuals get together saying we will be the perfect couple, with a perfect marriage, and we will never ever make mistakes or cause one another pain. However, they vow in unspoken words to strive to perfect the things that are broken, mend the things that have cracks, and restore the unintentional breach they may have made, with the motivation or mindset to always forgive the one who sits in the seat of the fallen.
Can you see what it’s about?
Marriage is about giving you the room to do some things I may not like. But at the same time, it also gives me the space to say how it made me feel and the opportunity to adjust to accommodate me and you. It’s about a spouse not using the other’s mishap or fault to hog wrangle them into submission but building from these mistakes and finding ways to forgive that requires forgetting.
People often say, “I can forgive you, but I won’t forget.”
But I say, “If you truly forgive, it causes you to really forget.”
So how then will you ever know within your marriage what you are willing to forgive? This is one of the questions I get often.
And my answer is simply this…
God knew in order to really judge our hearts, to know how deep we were willing to fall in love with Him, that He would have to set in the midst of us an enemy that works vigorously to kill, steal, and destroy. But in the meantime, his work against us only helps to build our tenacity, deepen our belief, and strengthen our resolve.
Can you see this in your marriage?
Sometimes, you never really know how much you truly love someone until the enemy starts to fight your marriage and you are put in a position that requires that you forgive. But, if you fight the fight of faith for your marriage, hold on to what you know and who you love, you’ll soon find out that everything the enemy meant for your bad, will always work in your favor and you’ll grow to appreciate the fact that two is always better than one, and a three-stranded cord is not easily broken.
Just know, the best years of your marital life, could be hinged between you deciding to forgive or not to forgive.
By Danyelle Scroggins
Author & Senior Pastor of New Vessels Ministries
About Pastor Danyelle Scroggins
Danyelle Scroggins is the Senior Pastor of New Vessels Ministries North in Shreveport, Louisiana. She is an author of both Christian fiction and non-fiction books. Danyelle studied Theology at Louisiana Baptist University, has a Psychology Degree from the University of Phoenix, an Interdisciplinary Degree in Psychology/Biblical Studies and a Master’s in Religious Education, both from Liberty University. She owns Divinely Sown Publishing LLC and is a Chaplain at Ochsner LSU Health Center, Louisiana’s trauma one health center.
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