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How to Build Deep Friendships

"In my darkest time, friends are what I needed

But I hadn't sown there so wasn't much for me to really reap..."

~ Andy Mineo, Honest to God


One day as I listened to Andy Mineo's song, it was the first time I heard someone apply the concept of sowing and reaping to friendships.

It really got me thinking.

How does a farmer sow? How does a friend sow? Can I reap friendships? Can I reap deep and intimate friendships? What do I need to do?

The quality of my friendships in the future will be determined by what I do with them today.

The Bible makes it very clear that one of the key benefits of friendship or companionship is having someone to lift you up when you fall. "Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: if either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up." Ecclesiastes 4:9-10, New International Version

Someone without a friend is someone to be pitied. I certainly do not want to be one of them.

I was scrolling through Instagram recently when I saw that a close friend of mine posted pictures from her late grandfather's funeral. Condolence messages were flooding her comments--and I did not even know he had passed away.

We do not talk every day, but even our usual phone call to 'catch up' was long overdue. I follow her Instagram stories and Facebook posts, so I felt pretty 'up to date' on what was happening in her life. But I needed to make a phone call--right away.

I did not regret it.

Do not leave your friendship building to Instagram, Facebook, or Whatsapp stories. It is easy to 'swipe up' on a photograph or a video, leave a 'heart' or 'laughing face', and think you know what is happening in your friend's life.

Intimate friendships take intentionality and sacrifice. They take time to sow and time to grow, but if you love someone, make the investment. That is the only way you will reap in time to come.

By Kerry-Ann McPherson

Project Manager & Contributor



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