A few tears fell down my cheeks as I gazed out over the ocean. I had been praying that God would bring me a husband, but I was frustrated that I wasn’t seeing God move. I had been fully committed to walking in God’s ways for a few months now, including waiting until marriage to have sex again, but God wasn’t confirming the desires I had for this guy at church.
When I first surrendered my love life to God, I doubted whether I would find a guy who loved God. But a few months after I started going to a new church, I noticed this cute Asian guy, Jeff, on my volunteer team. When Jeff prayed over the team, it was the most beautiful and sexiest thing I had ever seen, and I could see Jeff’s heart for God and people from his interactions with others at church.
As I started to like Jeff more, I prayed that he would ask me out. Some weeks Jeff engaged me in conversation when I saw him at church, but other weeks he barely said a word to me. I left church some days in tears, crushed that he may not like me back.
A few months went by, but Jeff still hadn’t asked me out. I debated asking him out for coffee to get to know him better, but the Holy Spirit told me not to ask him out. I knew Jeff was supposed to be the leader and pursuer in the relationship, so I trusted that if he was the guy that God had for me, then God would tell him to make a move.
I waited, prayed, and waited some more. As my desires for Jeff grew, my impatience and frustrations also grew as time went on. I cried out to God, “God, why do I like this guy when he doesn’t even seem interested in me?” As I prayed, I asked God to take away my desires if Jeff wasn’t my future husband. I also declared that if Jeff was the one, that he would know I was the one that God had for him, and that he would have the confidence to pursue me and ask me out.
After nine months of liking Jeff, I fully surrendered my heartbreak and doubt to God, and convinced myself that Jeff wasn't the one. Deep down, I still liked Jeff, but I told myself it was time to move on. I was sick of liking someone for so long who didn’t like me back. Even though it felt like my heart was broken, I felt this unexplainable peace from God. I was done trying to make things happen, and God was the one in control.
I kept my distance from Jeff at church to protect my heart, but a few months later things started to shift, and the miracle I had been praying for unfolded at the Christmas party for our volunteer team. Jeff made an effort to talk to me all night and seemed interested in getting to know me as more than just a friend. When I started pulling out of my parking spot after Jeff walked me to my car, I almost hit the truck parked next to me because I was so flustered. “God, is this finally happening? Is Jeff pursuing me?”
A few weeks later, Jeff sat next to me during our church’s New Year’s Eve service. He started texting me, and a few days later, he finally asked me out. Nine months after our first date, we said “I do” in front of God, our family, and closest friends.
God’s ways and timing don’t always make sense, but we must trust that his timing is better than we could ever imagine. If you are praying and waiting on God for a spouse, here are 3 things to focus on as you trust God with your own love story:
DECLARE GOD’S WORD
As you pray for God to bring you a spouse, memorize and declare God’s Word to renew your faith. If you’re not sure which Scriptures to pray, these are the Bible verses I prayed the most when I needed hope:
“Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you your heart’s desires.” - Psalm 37:4 NLT
“Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.” - Matthew 6:33 NLT
“Then the Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper who is just right for him.’” - Genesis 2:18 NLT
REMEMBER YOUR ANSWERED PRAYERS
When you start to doubt whether God will bring you a spouse, take time to consider all that God has done in your life. Remembering how God has moved in the past renews your faith. The God that performed miracles in your life before is the same God who is capable of bringing you a spouse.
BE FAITHFUL WHERE GOD HAS YOU
When you’re single, it’s tempting to think that this season of waiting for a spouse is wasted, but God has a purpose and plan for your life right now. As you pray for a spouse, ask God to show you what he wants you to focus on in this season. Your single life matters, and God is using this season to make a difference to others, and to prepare you for what’s to come.
ABOUT ERIN
Erin Elise Kiu equips women to live set apart for Jesus while navigating singleness and dating in a way that honors God. Erin encourages single women with God’s truth on the Fun & Holy blog and in the free, 14-day future husband prayer challenge.
After experiencing her own transformation with God, Erin published her first book, One Transforming Love, as a Christian Fiction novel to inspire other young women to discover the love of Jesus and to break free from living in the party and hookup culture.
Book Link:One Transforming Love Book
Website: www.funandholy.com
Photo Credit: Makenna Brylee
Article by Erin Elise Kiu
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